Being a Patient

We sometimes have this unrealistic expectation of doctors and...they just don't measure up.

Sometimes, we have a realistic expectation of doctors and... they just don't measure up.

This may come as a surprise to some, but the truth is, Doctor's are human.  I know.  Too bad they  have to be human.  At one time or another, we just want them to pull a miracle out of their inside out scrubs pocket.  We want them to have mastered the art of healing. We expect their bedside manner to be all that...and then some.  We hate to doubt that their knowledge has limits. In all ways, we expect nothing less of perfection. 

But then, life happens.  It happens to us and it happens to them and in the messy parts of any given day, they stumble from the pedestal, on which we allow them to teeter.  You know what happens then...that's right we socialize about their fall from perfection and that's that. I've done it, you've done and they've probably done it to each other. Life is a journey of experiences, for good or for bad and it begs to be witnessed and validated.  Don't get me wrong, some doctors get what comes, but for the most part, they do the best they can, given the fact they are human and all.

The majority of complaints against doctors have nothing to do with their medical skills and everything to do with communication skills on both sides...the doctor and the patient.  Not only that, the majority of doctors didn't even realize there was a problem. 

It's hard to on the best of days to communicate with doctors, but when we are sick and scared and afraid that our health is unraveling, it's even harder to effectively balance this very important and personal relationship with the person we trust with our very life.

Here are some tips for making each appointment with your healthcare provider be the best it can be.

• When reporting your symptoms, be thorough, organized and concise.  When they ask what brings you in, give them a brief overview and even a list of concerns you would like to address during the visit.  Be conscientious and respectful of time, it may require a second visit to cover your concerns. 
• Bring a list of your medications, including supplements and over the counter meds.  
• Be honest with your doctor about your health history and present issues.
• Invest more trust in your doctor than in Google. 
• Speaking of Google, educate yourself of your condition, understand the basic terminology, so that you can ask the best questions, and be proactive in your own health.  This is different than using the internet to self diagnose. 
• Write down your questions and concerns
• Ask about the best method of communication, if some questions come up after you leave the appointment.
• Be assertive. If you don't understand any part of the visit, including diagnosis, treatment plans or medication, let them know where you are confused.  
• Bring one trusted friend or family member if you need support.  Do not bring your tribe along.  It slows down the process and creates too many distractions. 
• If you feel you are not being heard, respectfully tell them how you are feeling.  It's most likely they aren't making you feel this way intentionally.  If after attempts to communicate your difficulties and angst, the situation can't be resolved, then perhaps it isn't a good fit and time to move on.
• Be careful what you read on social media platforms.  We are quicker to complain about a poor experience than to report the awesome interactions we have with our doctors.  Take each complaint with a grain of salt.  If you do have complaints, try to resolve them with your provider before jumping to conclusions. 

Of course, this is just the short list for patients on how to improve a patient/ doctor relationship.  Healthcare providers of all varieties, have a responsibility to deliver, quality, compassionate care.  They are healers and they are held to higher standards because of the role they play in caring for human life.  It's okay to expect this but make sure you are doing your part as well.  The more we can address our health with a team approach, the better the overall experience will be. 

Caregiving

Being a caregiver isn't something we talk about much and more importantly, we may not even truly understand what the very words mean.  Typically, we think of caregivers as those who have loved ones with diseases such as, Parkinson's, Dementia, Cancer...the ailments we all dread with advanced age.

 You could be an aunt, a niece, a mother, a sister, a child, and care for an aunt, a niece, a mother, a sister, or a child. Care giving can be triggered by a major life event but it can also be so subtle we hardly recognize it.  We start by taking our mom to her doctor appointments, pick up medications for her...and while it doesn't consume our day, it takes an emotional toll we hardly recognize.  You could be caring for the elderly, the ill or even the daily tasks associated with motherhood.

Most tasks of a caregiver are thrust upon us and we are forced to feel our way along duties we have little experience in.  Some of the tasks may include...

• Grocery shopping
• House cleaning
• Laundry
• Transportation
• Assisting with hygiene
• Managing medications
• Communicating with health care providers
• Handling finances
• Handling crisis
• Taking care of healthcare treatments like giving injections, physical therapy, transferring from bed to chair, to shower etc.

Typically, you do it all, in addition to the other responsibilities you have, and you do it without compensation or experience.

If you find yourself in the caregiving role, here are some things to consider.  Often, a caregiver can let her own mental and physical health slide or strain. 

• Caregiving is emotional business.  Don't be afraid to have emotions that run the gamete from joy to depression.   Own your feelings without the addition of guilt or shame.
• Be realistic about what you can do for your loved one
• Don't be afraid to ask for help, before the point of overwhelm
• Don't be afraid to accept help...this makes you human, not weak. 
• Develop stronger coping skills- Eat, Exercise and Sleep. 
• Learn the necessary skills for caring and make sure you have the right equipment 
• Build a support system for yourself; friends you can count on to lean upon
• Don't worry about the haters.  There will always be someone who thinks they could do it better.  Unless they are willing to jump in and help, don't give their opinions much weight. 
• Come to know your limits and tap out before it's too much.  

There is so much more we could cover.  Caregiving is one of the hardest, most isolating jobs on the planet.  We sacrifice so much and few truly come to understand the emotional toll until you experience it yourself.  If you are a caregiver, kudos to you.  If you know someone, consider ways you could help lighten their load.