When you know, you know.

When was the last time you heard a woman say, she just knew she was done having kids and you felt a little anxious because you bounce around the idea like a pinball at the nickel arcade?

Some women just know when they are done having children but that isn't all women.  For some, it really is a decision that doesn't come easily or to rest in your mind, just because your best friend wants nothing more to do with snotty noses and 2 AM feedings.  If there is anything to be learned, it's to master the art of not worrying about everyone else and what's hot or not and worry about you.  The decision to have a child or not is so utterly private and personal it belongs within the archives of your own heart and mind. 

Consider your level of satisfaction with the family you have.  Sometimes the noise of the world makes it impossible to feel anything but rushed and less than.  Spend some time in quiet thought while you consider where you are in life, where your family is.  Do you feel a void in your family or is there a feeling of contentment?

Sometimes, it's not a decision that needs to be made right now, today.  Take it one day at time.  Let the time frame be open and let the idea ride on the wave of every day.  When we live the questions, the answers often come softly, gently and clear.  

Here's where I offer a word of caution, never make a decision on a bad day.  You know the day...when kids won't stop fighting, your husband is late getting home, the laundry has piled up...that kind of a day.  Save the big decisions for when the days are calm and you have energy and strength to think clearly. 

As our stages in life change, it can be tough to accept that we are moving on to a new chapter.  It's hard to imagine how the new pages will unfold and what life will look like as everyone grows and evolves.  It's normal to have feelings of trepidation, even anxiety during these times and seasons.  Remember that it's okay to not have every minute of your life planned out.  If needed, come in and talk to one of our trusted providers.  They can offer direction and advice. 

Each stage of life brings a joy we have never known or felt before.  The decisions we make at each crossroads will be ours to make and whatever else we do, never measure your choices against the yardstick of the world. 

 

The Healing Brain

Collectively, we have been through a lot in the past few weeks, yet the way in which we have handled our common crisis is very personal and unique.  For some, there have been added challenges beyond the trials that come with a pandemic.   

Regardless of your station and lot in life, one thing is likely, we are worn out.  Our brains are weary.  There has been so much to process, paradoxes that have challenged how quickly we can process the new information. 

In times such as this, how do we heal our brain?  How do we embrace the new normal or even return to normal.  So much has changed and change has really become the one constant we can count on.  As parents, mothers especially, we carry a heavier load as we absorb the shock and change for our children and all those around us.   How can we best navigate these uncertain times?

Here are some ideas on how to begin to heal our tired brain...

• Sleep.  One of the best ways to rest our mind is to sleep.  It's not enough to get your regular amount of sleep.  In times of turbulence and stress you need a couple of extra hours of sleep and then some.  It varies for each of us.  Start by going to bed and hour earlier and waking up an hour later.  If that isn't enough, try to squeeze in a small nap during the day. 
• Make fewer decisions.  By building routine into our day, we eliminate some simple decisions that can still tax our brain.  For example, make a meal plan.  Set the kids clothes out for the week in an organized manner.  When we plan ahead, we can free up space for more important matters. 
• Move your body.  We hold our anxiety in our body.  When we can get up and move, our stressors have less impact than if we sit and hold on to them.  Moving, literally moves emotion on through so we don't get stuck in negative feelings and mindsets.  Just a stroll around the block does wonders for a tired, exhausted mind.
• Eliminate the things that don't matter.  All of us can fill up a day with unimportant things that drain our minds of energy.  Take a closer look at how you spend your time, and table the non-urgent and unimportant tasks that can wait for a better day when our energy levels are higher. 
• Practice compassion.  Compassion for others is important but compassion for ourselves may be even more so.  Sometimes, all we can do is all we can do.  When experiencing chaos and change, slowing down and recognizing our limits can be the game changer. 

Feeling burned out and exhausted can happen before we even know it and almost always after a stressful time.   We are all handling this new world of ours in the best way we know how and it would serve us all well to slow down just a bit and plan for what we can.  Do the little things to extend kindness to ourselves and others.  We may be in this together but it absolutely affects us each differently and now is not the time for comparative suffering but it is a time to heal.  How will that look for you?