Eating for Two?

It's funny how pregnancy nutrition has changed and evolved over the years.  There's a little saying we hear a lot these days..."I'm eating for two!"  And while we know that would really not be the healthiest approach to pregnancy, how many extra calories do you need?

Well, here's what we have found and it may surprise you!

The first trimester, you don't need any additional calories.  Surprised?  It's true.  Your baby, in the first trimester, grows from the size of a poppy seed, to the size of a plum.  They are still pretty tiny! Now is the time, if you haven't already upped your  nutrition game, to start making better food choices.

The first trimester is a time of staggering cell growth for your baby.  Support that process with plenty of healthy, whole foods such as clean protein, iron, calcium and folic acid. Dark leafy greens, broccoli, and citrus fruits are great sources of folic acid.  Did you know that there are some studies linking folic acid to lower levels of depression?  So, it's an important micro-nutrient for your mental health as well as the baby's general health.

The second trimester, you will need to eat approximately 300 additional calories.  What does 300 calories look like?  A handful of almonds.  A large apple with peanut butter.  The food you eat in the second trimester goes a long way in nourishing your baby so make every bite count. Magnesium, Vitamin D, healthy Omega 3 oils will help in bone and teeth development for little one, as well as brain development.  At this stage, your baby grows to be the size of an eggplant.

Getting a healthy dose of Omega 3 in the second trimester can also help in warding off postpartum depression.  There is a movement gaining some traction, that diseases and especially mental health problems will start being treated with nutrition.  We probably don't give the things we eat, enough attention or consider the impact they will have on our general health.

Finally, in the third trimester up to 500 extra calories is about what you need to sustain the baby and you, in the remaining weeks.  Continue with good food choices.  Make sure you are getting plenty of fiber and drinking lots of water.  Exercise continues to be important but make sure your doctor has provided you with good exercise guidelines.

Your baby is starting to store minerals and nutrients during this time, especially iron and calcium so make sure you are especially focused on a healthy diet. In addition, get plenty of rest during this time as well.

Being pregnant is a great time to get healthy because you have plenty of good reasons and a purpose in making the effort.  Remember that balance is the key to just about everything and every good decision you make in your diet will have great rewards.  As always, these calorie numbers are merely guidelines.  Everyone is different and between you and your doctor, you will find that sweet spot for balancing calories and nutrients for your body type and baby needs.

Back to School

It's that time of year...the kids are heading back into the folds of textbooks and times tables and aren't you excited?

Let's be honest here, summer is long!  It's been three long months of relaxed routines, rusty reading schedules, bored children and made up chores to keep them out of your hair.  There has been no time for YOU!  Am I right or am I right?  So, next week, all that changes and here's a list of back to school tips for all you overworked moms!

1.  Get organized.  You only have 6 hours or so to spend without the Littles under foot and less if you have to deal with Kindergarten.  (We really should look into all day Kindergarten.) You need to maximize your free time!  Make a list of all the things you've been dying to accomplish like... going back to bed as soon as the yellow bus hits the corner.  Maybe you are the energetic type and want to hit the gym.  I'm not sure why you would want to do that but go for it.  It's all about you now!  Now is your time to shine.  You've worked hard all summer, it's time to let the teachers have a turn at raising your budding little humans.  The teachers have missed your kids!! Believe me,  Facebook feeds are full of warm thoughts from teachers. 
2. Establish a routine. Humans love to know what's coming next; something we can count on.  When organizing your activities for the day, consider adding a little mundane to the mix, for example, every day between 1-3 you will watch re-runs of the Ellen Show.  Routine is healthy I've heard. Psychology Today mentions that it helps you slow down and capture important brain space.  You're going to need that as soon as the bus arrives so it's all in good health.  Mental health.  When your husband or kids asked what you did all day, you can wholeheartedly say you made some additional space in your brain to handle all their needs and wants more effectively.  They will totally respect that! 
3. Don't Isolate.  It's very important you don't hide out in your house all day.  A Brigham Young University study showed that people with poor social lives had a 50% chance of dying younger than those with rich social lives.  You just can't take that risk.  Get out there with friends who are inspiring and like minded.  Go for lunch.  Watch the Ellen Show together.  A word of warning, don't get sucked into 'trading' babysitting.  You don't have time for that.  There is so much to do while your own kids are at school!  Soon, their kids will head to school too and they too will find themselves having to make these very important life adjustments and setting priorities.  
4. Get plenty of rest and exercise.  School is stressful, if you have a kid going there.  It's 10 fold stress for each and every kid beyond one, that attends school.  Teachers apparently think you have all afternoon and night to sit and solve your child's math problems and glue pom poms on pretend DNA strands for them. Don't even get me started on writing papers for them!  This is a stressful time.  There is nothing like a nap and stroll around the Mall to help you handle the stress and anxiety of all the work you have to do.  If you happen upon a fabulous pair of shoes while strolling...all the better.  
5.  Review the food pyramid.  This is important information to know when packing lunches, providing loving snacks after school and of course dinner, that should be a well rounded meal.  Just about every kind of food fits into the food pyramid somewhere.  Even the corn dogs and Fruity Pebbles you gave them last night for dinner because that's all the Lovies will eat...so much for the stuffed pork roast you've been dying to try from Pinterest!  You tried!  You pinned it...that's all that matters!  It's okay if the your food pyramid is upside down from time to time...tell the kids it's one of the Wonders of Your World! 

See?  School is stressful.  It's a life changing time sending those kids back there.  The first week is going to be hard- all those papers to sign, rules to read and other nonsense, but you've got this!  One last piece of advice...Don't ask questions that lead to dead ends like...

"Why does your math sheet have a bite taken out of it?"

"Why do I have to send you with 2 boxes of Kleenex?" 

"How come you didn't eat your sandwich?"

"Why aren't these papers in the $14 binder I just bought you?"

"What do mean...you left your backpack on the bus?"

 These are things we may never understand and it's okay.  My kids have all graduated now and moved on to higher learning.  I have bought over 125 boxes of Kleenex but I consider it money well spent on important education stuff.  

We hope this list helps you as you embark on this upcoming school year!  But seriously...back to school is a stressful time for moms and dads and kids too.  Whether you are a mom who is home during the day or at the office, remember you are probably doing a better job than you think you are.   Be gentle and kind to yourself, just like you are with those around you.  Raising children is a big deal and this Momin' gig is hard work so...we hope our little survival list for back to school put a smile on your face as you get the kids ready for more learning.  Keep on being your greatest version of YOU!!

Why does bone density matter?

Bone density isn't something we hear a lot about, at least not in the same way we hear about other women's issues.

What is bone density and why does it matter?

Bones are mostly made of collagen and proteins within a strengthening frame work of calcium phosphate, calcium carbonate and other minerals.  Our bones and teeth contain all but 1% of the calcium our body needs.  It is critical that our bones are both strong and flexible.  The collagen and calcium work together to ensure that the framework for our body is in optimized shape.  We are continually adding new bone to our skeleton, at least in theory.  When that balance of old and new bone growth is upset, we end up with bone loss and a weak skeleton.

This is where we all understand bone density, especially if we are menopausal women and dealing with the effects of Osteoporosis.

Here are some facts about bone growth and bone loss...

• Most new bone is added in childhood and teenage years
• We reach our peak bone mass at about age 30
• Bone loss increases just following menopause
• Bone loss is caused by lack of calcium in our diets, age, smoking, some medications, lack of exercise.
• Small frame and underweight women are at greater risk for lower bone density.
• Loss of height is a sign of increasing bone loss
• Dark greens and low fat dairy products will increase calcium levels in our diet
• Vitamin D helps the body absorb calcium
• Weight bearing exercises help build bone
• Estrogen replacement can assist in preserving bone loss

Do you think you may be at risk of low bone density?

If you are over 50, underweight, early menopause,  post menopausal, a smoker, have experienced loss in height, or have a family history of osteoporosis or hip fractures.  If you aren't sure, meeting with your health care provider is always best.  

Osteoporosis is one of those things that can be prevented.  As women, we often put off the simplest thing when making small changes now, can have the biggest pay offs down the road. 

Taking Care of You

As women, we like to think we can do it all, be it all and have it all.  I wonder sometimes, if perhaps we secretly wish the culture would cut us some slack?  Do you sometimes look at other women who have no problem giving themselves permission to decompress and feel...well, jealous?

We become so good at taking care of the world around us and those people we love and even those we don't even know, that we forget to take care of ourselves.  Women intuitively spend more time look 'out' rather than looking 'in'.

No matter how far you've strayed from taking care of yourself, you can start today with one small thing and just maybe, you will see what a difference one small thing can make.  If you aren't very good at self care, you may not even know where to start.

The Blissful Mind, suggests that there are 5 dimensions to self care.  They are Physical, Intellectual, Spiritual, Social and Emotional.  Let's talk about what each one of these means.

Physical: These are the physical things we do; habits we have for good or for bad.  It includes sleeping patterns diet and exercise, medical check-ups, and sexual health.  These are the important things that are so easy, maybe too easy to skip out on.  We think we can make up for last sleep when the weekend arrives but the weekend comes and goes and the sleep deficit grows.

Intellectual: These are your personal growth items like schooling, education, continued learning, and even having a good and positive outlook on life.  Keeping you mind busy and engaged is something most of us do anyways.  I think the difference is, focusing on the things that you love or have always wanted to learn.  Often, that little evil, inner critic we all have convinces us that we are too old, too dumb, too something to learn new things.

Spiritual: What are the beliefs and values that keep your life on track? What nourishes your soul?  Remember there is a huge difference between religious and spiritual.  For many, their self care is shown when attending a religious service that supports their spirit.

Social: What does your network of supporters look like.Social self care is a look at who your friends are.  Who has your back?  Who can you count on to listen to you?  It's important to connect with people outside of social media.  We all need to feel like we have a place to belong, a place to find acceptance.

Emotional: This one may be the most difficult to do.  How do you cope from day to day? How do you cultivate kindness, empathy, compassion, love for yourself and others?

If you are new to self care, choose one area to work on for a few days.  It doesn't have to cost money, or cost you time.  Just a few minutes of focus intention can offer a huge dividend for yourself.  It's not selfish or egotistical, it's healthy to care for you!

The Problem with Incontinence

The problem with incontinence

If you are a woman who grimaces when you feel a cough coming or worse…a sneeze, then you know more than anyone that incontinence is a big problem!  However, it is something that as women, we really don’t fully understand and that’s a big problem too!

Stress urinary incontinence is the most common form of incontinence in women under the age of 60.  Age alone can be a risk but what are some other risk factors?

• Pregnancy and Childbirth
• Loss of pelvic tone
• Hysterectomy
• Nerve damage
• Obesity
• Menopause
• Lung disease or smoking that causes chronic coughing
• Anatomical formations
• Continual lifting of heavy objects

There is treatment and where there is treatment, there is hope. Treatment usually begins with behavior modification such as:

• Pelvic muscle exercises
• Weight loss
• Pessaries
• Pelvic floor stimulation

Other treatments involve:

• Medication
• Injections
• Surgery.  Surgical procedures vary and great strides have been made in the recent years to increase success in treating stress urinary incontinence.  

Only your doctor can determine the best place to start in treating this problematic issue for women.  The sooner you visit with your provider, the sooner you can eliminate this discomfort in your life.  

Doing Parenting the Right Way

Parenting is not for the faint of heart...especially if you parenting 2  year olds, or 17 year olds for that matter, they kind of have some similarities!


We've scoured the net and found some solid parenting advice that is timeless and ageless.

1. Set your expectations before they are needed.  If you are headed out to the grocery store, let the kids know what is expected from them.  Make decisions on the candy question before it comes up.  Give them responsibilities when you get to the store.  Kids love to feel helpful just like you do.  Not only will they feel a sense of purpose, but it will keep their little minds busy, instead of finding trouble along the aisle. 
2. Keep things positive.  Rather than always saying 'No', try something like this..."That's a good idea but today, we can do (this) or (this).  Which would you rather do?"  Children love to practice independence and autonomy...give them lots of opportunities to hone their skills. 
3. Give options that achieve the same answer.  "Would you like to put your shoes on or would you like me to help you?"  Avoid options that allow one of the choices to be completely contrary to your goals. 
4. Create logical consequences.  This can be tough.  I can't tell you how many times a consequence was more a punishment for me than for them...For example, grounding kids from playing with friends...let's be honest, is that really what you want to have happen?  If the crime didn't involve a friend, think twice.  
5. Empathize- Don't we all just want to be heard and understood?  Sometimes, kids just have rough days.  They don't always have the verbal skills to express their angst or feelings of fear and insecurity can come out as anger and tantrums.  Try to understand that the anger isn't always about what it seems.  Dig deeper in understanding them. 
6. Increase the love and hugs.  This is so important!  In today's busy, disconnected world, we don't spend enough time unplugged from technology to really connect with our family.  A hug from out of the blue to one of your kids, whether they are acting lovable or not, is one of the best ways to connect and get their attention that you are on their team. 
7. Reasoning.  Not all kids can calm down enough to talk and reason things through.  If your child is so upset and angry, that isn't the time to talk it out.   Remain calm yourself and be patient while they settle themselves.  Escalating the anger is not going to end well for either of you.  They will soon learn that you won't approach them until they have been able to manage their temper.  
8. Give them time. Sometimes, all kids want is a little bit of your time.  You will find that it doesn't have to be an all day event, but even 15 minutes out of your day to call them, hold an impromptu carpet picnic or a shared snack will buy you hours of pleasant behavior. 
9. Teach them to work. Teaching kids to work can feel like herding cats but it's worth it to try and start early so it becomes a habit.  They are more apt to co operate if you work along side them and when the work is done, point out successful the project was so they can see the effect of their hard work.  It's hard, when working with kids to be critical if they don't do it the way you would.  Be patient.  Allow them to feel pride in their best efforts. 
10. Time outs.  Time outs from parenting is important.  Take a little time each day to regroup, relax and accomplish something of interest to you.  Of course, there will be days when even 5 minutes is impossible but take the 5 minutes anyways.  Make sure you spend time with your spouse, away from the kids. 

What are your best parenting techniques?

What mom didn't tell you about birthing plans

The reality is, your mom probably didn’t have a birthing plan but, I wonder what mom would have to say about a birthing plan…

When I was laboring with my half dozen children, back in the day, my plan was to not feel any pain and push a baby out of me.  That was the basic gist of my hospital stay when I went into labor.  By the time the last one came along, my birthing plan evolved into milking it for all it was worth so I could just take a nap.   

Birthing plans are a relatively new thing to evolve over the past few years.  It’s good to be educated and knowledgeable on the birthing plans so you can decide if it’s right for you.  

So, what is a birthing plan?

A birthing plan is a document that allows your medical team to know your wishes when it comes to childbirth; managing pain, taking care of baby while in the hospital, and other important factors.  Your birthing plan should be simple and to the point.  Your medical providers, including nurses are busy people, they don’t have time to read a 6 page document, try to keep it to one page.

How to start writing a birthing plan?

The most important thing to do before starting a birthing plan is to do your homework.  Become familiar with the policies and practices of the hospital where you will be delivering.  Just because you want to room in with your new baby, doesn’t mean you will be allowed to, or vice versa.  Hospitals have rules in place to maintain continuity, order and safety so you must work within their boundaries.

Consider how you want to manage unexpected circumstances.  Perhaps you had planned on a vaginal birth but it becomes evident that you will be having a C-Section at the last minute, how will you manage that.  Creating a birthing plan, especially if it’s your first is something to start drafting well in advance so you have time to consider all the unexpected possibilities.

Some other things to think about:

                Who do you want in the room with you while you labor and deliver?

                Will you be using a Doula?

                How will you manage pain…massage, imagery, breathing techniques, jacuzzi, pain                                       medications, epidural?

                Do you want to be mobile while laboring or stay in bed?

                What position would you like to give birth in?  Make sure this point is well discussed with                           your doctor.

                What are your preferences for baby care?

With each consideration, make sure you discuss your plan with your doctor prior to and well in advance of your due date.  Listen to his/her ideas and incorporate them, even compromise.  Communication is one of the most important tools you have.  Don’t just focus on what you don’t want…remain positive and list the important things you do want.

How to execute the plan…

Take your plan to the hospital when you check in and go over it with your nursing team.  Remember, a birthing plan is an outline, merely a guideline.  You must be flexible since there are very few things you can count on when giving birth.  Anything can happen and rather than get frustrated that things aren’t going as planned, trust in your team to deliver safe and compassionate care.  If nothing else, a birth plan ensures that you have educated yourself on the birthing process and have realistic expectations.  The birth plan can help you maintain your focus.

Whether you choose to have a formal birthing plan or not is up to you.  The most important thing is that you, your partner and your doctor are on the same page with the same expectations.  And, at the end of the day, your baby will arrive in a surrounding of love and caring.